grandpa

I saw an old lady last night at work and I told her I liked her shoes, the reds of the summer and the white of her hair just made her smile gleam beautifully. and the crazy old man on my grandma's block that keeps asking if the old man's still asleep when we all know he's been dead for a year - I love him. and I want him to know he's loved. I miss my grandpa, I really do! but I'd rather learn from his heart and live the way he lived than feel sorrow towards his final breath. and the interns at my church that said they loved me and were "authentic" - did they really? or were they caught up being Martha in an attempt to live more like Mary? I just want to be honest. I want people know I'm honest. I want I want I want and I can have but I'm just not ready yet.